If you study repressed memory of abuse, you’ll probably eventually come across the term “false memory syndrome.” Who made it up? It’s inventors are The False Memory Syndrome foundation, a group which was admittedly started and mostly run by accused child rapists.
These accused molesters made this term up out of thin air. It appears nowhere in the DSM (the book psychologists use to diagnose mental disorders) and it isn’t recognized by the American Psychological Association.
Still doubting your memories?
Personally, I like to get my information from unbiased scientists, not accused child molesters with ulterior motives. “false memory syndrome”? I don’t think so.
More information about repression is available on my FAQ.
(reblogs help your survivor followers cope with less self-doubt)
There is a worrying trend in certain movies, especially the ones for little girls, where a female character meets a male character who, at first appears to be a complete jerk, but then she persists and it turns out he’s really a nice guy.
But isn’t that how abusive relationships begin? ”Sure he’s a jerk, but he’s really a nice guy. Really!”
That’s what worries me. Not a princess motif, but a message that we should allow ourselves to be abused on the off chance that someone might not be as horrible as they appear.
I see this in fiction SO OFTEN. The glorification of “jerk to everyone else, but totally nice to me”… let me tell you something. Either one face or the other is a lie and most likely in real life the “nice” face is the lie. I’ve seen it in all kinds of relationships… friendships, romantic, family, male and female… the constant excuse “well that’s just how they are to everyone else, but I know the real them”… no. You might see a small decent (and very real) part of them, true… but when they’re an asshole to everyone else that’s real too. And you won’t remain the exception to the rule forever. When you want to see the best in everyone this really sucks, believe me I know, but it’s true. And if they truly wanted to change, they’d start treating others good too. You shouldn’t WANT to be the exception, and you should damn sure not want to be the one to “fix” them. Run. Run far away from this relationship, please.
TW: discussion of abuse and sexual harassment among teens and abuse culture
I went to an alternative high school for a few months when I was in my late teens. I’d watch the students, years young than me and mostly Black and Latin@, interact with each other, and I noticed a troubling thing. The boys were inappropriately physically aggressive and harrasing the girls as ways to show camaraderie, friendship, & maybe even affection. They seldom communicated in other ways. Groping and grabbing butts, boobs, & thighs, too hard punches and being slapped in the face and restrained-the girls took it all with a smile and it was constant. Even when it was clear that the girls did not like the touching or the “playing” had gone too far, they still had to behave agreeably and joke in return, play anger was all that was allowed at best and so the boys didn’t take it seriously. If a girl did assert herself more and aggressively showed dissent, she would be called a “bitch”-They’re just playin’, why get so mad?
It was like the girls were being groomed to learn that men were entitled to their bodies in this manner and it was a good thing, and getting about it made you too sensitive, not cool, alarmist, a bitch. No teacher or students spoke up against this behaviour.
It was then I realized-We tell women to be submissive and patient and long-suffering, tell them that men’s toxic physical nature and machismo and infidelity and emotional coldness and manipulation and gruffness (which you too raise them with) is “just how boys are”, then we turn around and act mystified and confused at women who are in abusive relationships and don’t leave. WE taught them that is what true love looks like. WE taught them tolerating mistreatment is dedication and women should be quiet and take the abuse if they truly are in love. WE taught them that they don’t deserve any better.
This culture creates victims out of women and culls their dissent.
I’m not a misandrist but men talk so much, it’s irritating as hell. They should make debarking collars for them like the ones they keep using on their dogs — then if your man won’t shut up, just put the collar on and he’ll have to! They deserve it so much more than pets.
So, that last post made me think about abuse and dominance, and it made me realize something about why we don’t believe the narratives of oppressed and marginalized communities and peoples when it comes to abuse and dominance, but we believe such claims when something slight happens to a group with privilege in power or make excuses for when they abuse.
The way that systems of abuse are upheld is that we don’t actually believe abuse is happening at all. We see instances of abusive violence as individual random acts unrelated to hierarchical systems of supremacy in culture at large, removed from power dynamics and historical contexts, and simply a matter of “something happened to someone at the hands of someone else, but that’s life”. That is to say, we see two equally parties with equal culpability and power clashing against each other in an admittedly imperfect but not necessarily wrong or evil way. So, if group A does something to group B, that means group B must have provoked it, right? At least it means group A isn’t the devil, things happen, so it goes! There’s no reason to completely call out group A and think there are other motivations or dynamics at play, and to blame them wholly would be to “demonize” them needlessly.
Instead, we blame the abused and victimized, and that effectively absolves abusers of responsibility and ourselves of the task of questioning those in power and challenging them for their behavior-it is much easier to convince the abused to be quiet since they were at fault and deserved it than it is to stand up to the abuser.
So, in this system of “We need to blame someone for this violence and it sure as hell won’t be the ones perpetuating it”, inherent in marginalized bodies is culpability, blame, criminality, and wrongness. You remove them from their humanity and their ability to be harmed so as to make them into a monolith that can instead be accused and demonized. Oppositely, groups in power are right, pure, blameless, and never in the wrong, or at least not evil if they are (they’re just human!). They are nuanced in their contexts and humanity and excuses that are given aren’t so much just excuses (though they are definitely that) so much as it is people personifying them and giving them context so as to explain why they might engage in behavior, even if it is problematic. This is why “Corporations are people”, but poor black women are Evil Angry Welfare Queens.
Thus, any act that is committed against groups in power is the only true injustice because it was truly unsolicited and unfair. They are, in their position of privilege and power, blameless and real and can be hurt. Marginalized people however, in their criminality, cannot.
Stop telling bullied kids to “hold on” and “it’ll be alright”, teach them how to fight the fuck back because they’re worth it and they deserve to-“Zero tolerance” policies are dangerous, fuck respecting them to the point that you have no recourse to defend yourself from hurt. Tell bullied kids they’re beautiful and aren’t wrong in who they are and shouldn’t have to merely “weather” shit until it improves because that puts the responsibility on them for shit that is victimizing and hurting them. Tell bullied kids you’re about to call their teachers, their principals, their superintendents, parents across the school district, the fucking news and their representatives, because this shit isn’t OK with you and they should not be afraid, intimidated, and abused in places that should be safe spaces. Be a useful adult for once and protect bullied kids for real, put your money where your mouth is as an authority and fight for them. Get over your “It gets better” nonsense. What happens in your youth defines you, and if you learn that you are shit that deserves to be abused and the powers that be won’t do much about it, it won’t get better, you just merely learn how to become complacent with abuse and bullshit and you learn to think you deserve it and you trust no one. Let’s fix that cycle and that system and let’s stop apologizing and excusing it, let’s stop leaving bullied kids to fend for themselves. They DESERVE better.
This needs to fucking stop. This is an absolute invasion of women, this is disgusting, and this Tumblr needs to go away.
Creepshots is a website for men to take “sexy” pictures of unsuspecting women, and from their ‘About Us’ section it states: “Creepshots are CANDID pictures. If a person is posing or aware that a picture is being taken, then it is no longer a creepshot.”
These men take pictures of women who are unaware and post them.
And then under their rules for getting the pictures removed? One of the two options is to “appreciate” the fact that some fucking gross man took a picture of you.
I’ve sent a report to tumblr and you should too.
To report a blog to tumblr, you need to email the full URL and name of the blog to tumblr.
Let’s get it taken down!
PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST
WE NEED TO REPORT THEM HERE’S HOW
there’s two ways-it’s more effective if you do both:
1) Block them here and then report for harassment.
2) You can also email tumblr at email@example.com and tell them to ban creepshots. Provide them with the url to the blog (creepshots.tumblr.com) and explain why they should be banned. If you’re too lazy to write out an email, you can use mine:
Hello tumblr staff,
Please remove/ban the blog creepshots.tumblr.com. They post demeaning, humiliating and objectifying pictures of women (typically their asses and breasts and even under their skirts) that they take without their permission on the street and in public. These guys were banned and deleted from reddit. Can you really say that tumblr is less of a safe respectable place than reddit?
What they are doing is wrong. Many, many users on tumblr feel violated and unsafe by this blog’s presence in the tumblr community. These men are violating the privacy of women everywhere. They specifically state in their about me: “Creepshots are CANDID pictures. If a person is posing or aware that a picture is being taken, then it is no longer a creepshot. A true creepshot captures the natural sexy, embarrassing or funny aspect of the subject mater/person without their knowledge.” They specifically state that only accept pictures of people whose privacy has been violated (source: http://creepshots.tumblr.com/AboutUs).
Please do something to show that you care about the safety and dignity of women, particularly the women in the tumblr community. If you don’t care about that, can you at least ban/delete them in the name of protecting yourself from legal liability? because there’s a strong likelihood that some of those pictures are of underaged girls. Given that these men are taking pics of young women they don’t know, how can they know their ages for certain? All it takes is one concerned parent or adolescent seeing their picture on that site, and if you don’t take it down, legal action could be taken against you.
So please, in the name of what is ethical and right and even legally responsible and smart, delete creepshots. Thank you.
________ (tumblr username/name)
If we use both methods, we’ll be more successful. LET’S FLOOD THE TUMBLR EMAIL WITH DEMANDS THESE FUCKERS GET TAKEN DOWN. WE CAN DO THIS.
stop saying derp
stop saying derpy
stop saying herp derp
It’s not cute, it’s fucked up and shitty.
don’t do it
It’s a twee version of retarded. So think about it that way, every time you are saying herp derp, you are actually saying that.
Is it still fun and cute to say?
I lost count of how many times I have seen some variation of it on my dashboard this morning alone. Like, literally, seriously lost count because it happened so much.