Oct 22 2012
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TW: Abuse
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and here are some things you should know about domestic violence:
Statistics:
- Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten
- Men take up approximately 15% of all domestic violence abuse cases in the US
- 40% of severe domestic violence cases are men
- Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury towards women, including car accidents
- 50% of women murdered in the United States were killed by a spouse of acquaintance
- Children from domestic violence homes are five to seven times more likely to experience significant psychological problems
Signs you are in an abusive situation:
Does your partner:
- Humiliate you
- Yell at you
- Criticize you
- Treat you in a way that you are embarrassed for others to see
- Ignore/insult your accomplishments
- Blame you for their behavior
- Treat you as property
- Act jealous or possessive
- Control your actions
- Isolate you
- Limit your access to resources
- Constantly or excessively check up on you
- Have an unpredictable temper
- Hurt or threaten you
- Threaten self harm
- Force/coerce you to engage in sexual activity
- Destroy your belongings
- Act entitled to special treatment, including abusive behavior
- Act superior of you/belittle you
Do you feel:
- Afraid of your partner
- The need to avoid topics that may set them off
- Like you cannot do anything right with your partner
- Believe you deserve to be hurt/mistreated
- Wonder if you are the one over reacting
- Emotionally numb/helpless
If you are gay, bisexual, transgender, does your partner:
- Threaten to out you
- Tell you authorities will not help someone in the LGBT community
- Tell you that leaving will be admitting you orientation/identification is deviant
- Justify abuse by challenging you orientation/identity
- For men: Says that men are “naturally violent.”
Know the cycle of abuse:Signs of an abusive situation from an outside perspective:
Is your loved one being abused? Do they have:
- Injuries
- Absence from work, school or get togethers
- Low self esteem
- Sudden personality changes
- Fear of conflict
- Blame on others or self
- Aggression
- Apologetic of bad behavior by partners
- Isolation and withdrawal
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms
Is someone you know abusing someone? Do they:
- Put down their partner or act superior
- Dominateconversation
- Attempt to isolate their partner
- Check up on partner excessively
- Act rough with partner in public, hit or slap partner in private
- Make threats
- Minimize problematic/violent behavior
- Display no regard for law/authority
- A history of abuse, including drug abuse
- Display jealousy
How to get out of an abusive situation:
- Recognize what is going on at home: does your partner display any of the signs of abuse, do you display any signs of someone who is being abused
- Tell someone you can trust and will take action
- Prepare: Find a safe space to hide money and belongings
- Cover your tracks: Delete internet and call history
- Find a safe place to leave to
- If you can: Report the abuse and file a restraining order
How to help a loved one out of an abusive situation:
- Talk to them and assure a safe space to open up and confide
- Be direct with your suspicions and worries
- NEVER judge the victim
- ALWAYS believe the victim
- Do not “tell” them to leave or criticize them for staying with an abusive partner
- Support them and build self confidence
- Help them break away from isolation
- Encourage them to talk to others, including professionals
- Offer resources
Coping with domestic violence:
Typical aftermath of domestic violence:
- Denial
- Minimization
- Nightmares
- Shock
- And more
Resources for coping and dealing with domestic violence:
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
- Domesticviolence.org
- Counseling Directory
- Women’s Crisis Service
- Counseling Connection
- Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women
- Domestic Violence Shelters
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies
- Homeless Shelter Directory
(via imnotamisandristbut)
