"for 40,000 years the primary threat to the majority of humans tended to be not getting enough to eat. In fact, this was true until the end of World War II in the United States and is still true in many Third World countries (and for some in the West as well) today. Since starvation was common, our bodies learned to hold onto weight at all costs. Any time our bodies experience lack, they learn to be more efficient in holding weight: i.e. the body that experiences lack increases the set point. Children who experience famine have very efficient bodies – bodies designed to hold onto fat. People who experience starvation repeatedly will have bodies that get better and better at holding on to fat.
So, how is the body supposed to tell between starvation and a diet? It can’t. All the body knows is that the signals (signals of hunger or craving) it is sending are being ignored. And the only way it knows to respond is as if there is a famine. It holds onto weight and creates a demand for high calorie foods. And so the diet fails for the majority of us.”
~Talking Fat, by Lonie McMichael, PhD (via loniemc)
- Don’t tone police. It is NOT your right to dictate how someone should react to their oppression.
- Don’t demand a detailed explanation.* Asking for an explanation is not always harmful. Sometimes, getting more information will help you understand better. Know, however, when you do this, you are asking the person to justify their call out. This can be extremely exhausting, and many resources are already available to help you better understand. Often, demanding explanations is just a way to try and derail, start an argument, or discredit the other person.
- Don’t get defensive. When someone points out something shitty you’ve done, it’s about their needs and how they’re feeling hurt.
- Similarly, don’t take it personally. Calling out is not a personal attack. If someone calls you out, they’re trying to teach you something. Calling out is a way for people to educate others on how systems of oppression operate on a day to day, individual level.
- Don’t attack the person who’s calling you out. Enthusiastic reactions of self-defence (e.g. “Well that’s your fault! Not mine! Jeeze!”) can feel like an attack to someone who’s made themselves vulnerable by pointing out something careless you’ve done or said. Physical reactions of defensiveness are obviously fucked up.
- Don’t assume the person calling you out is just “looking to get offended”. Generally, people don’t enjoy calling other people out. To call someone out, people often have to mentally prepare for serious repercussions. Calling someone out might mean starting an argument, during which many people will side with the oppressor by default (especially if you’re privileged over the person calling you out). Chances are, the person who’s calling you out isn’t doing so as a fun hobby.
- Understand that being oppressive is not the same as being offensive or hurting feelings. Although both these instants are worth calling out, the damage you may have perpetuated is part of a larger system of oppression.
- Realize that your intent is irrelevant when it comes to whether you were oppressive or not.
- Recognize the power dynamics that are in place between you and the person calling you out.
- Understand intersectionality. IE: Just because you are oppressed by classism, doesn’t mean you lack male privilege. Do Not abuse this to derail the other person’s concerns.
- Know that being privileged means being oppressive, but we can all work to reduce the ways we are oppressive.
- Follow the 4 A’s of Accountability:
- Acknowledge the damage
- Apologise genuinely
- Amend (follow the link for insight)
- Act in ways that are different from the ways you might have been acting that got you called out in the first place
- Work on oppression reduction and being the best ally you can be. Everyone has to unlearn the oppressive things they’ve absorbed from an oppressive society. We are all taught ways to keep marginalized people in their place, but the good thing is that we can identify these things in ourselves and create changes.
Feel free to add to this or change as necessary.
Reblogging this today because I made a FB post about sexism and literally everything that it says not to do in this post has happened in the comments.
oooo Apparently I’m racist! Sorry every group other than white people…
We can’t be friends now. Tumblr says I’m a bad person because at one point I said the word ratchet. Also who says, “Welfare Queen”?
My disdain for most people knows no color, gender, or creed. That said congrats about complaining about something on Tumblr, playing victim, and getting lots of reblogs. YOU’RE CHANGING THE WORLD Y’ALL!!!
Love yo faces :) Except white people. Fuck those honkies… AMIRITE?!
One of the most sinister things about normalized racism is you don’t have to have bad intentions to be racist, you just have to remain ignorant. Here Philip DeFranco is doing that in strides.
Instead of taking some well-placed criticism he (you Phil, I’m talking directly to you) is being a dismissive dipshit. Good job re-affirming the critique in that apparently he is so convinced of his own colorblindness that he can’t even see his own flagrant racism.
His response is an attempt to minimize his mistake (the hyperbolic false apology), to create a stawman — "Tumblr says I’m a bad person because at one point I said the word ratchet" — so he doesn’t have to take responsibility of having used racialized language, and at all times never having to look inward at himself at his own racism.
He then tries to socialize his backwardness — “My disdain for most people knows no color, gender, or creed.” — as if equally being a bigot solves being a bigot at all.
The last part is the cherry on the cake, where he insults the rest of us by assuming we are not only doing the work of educating (through social media) in our private lives, but he again, being a dismissive dipshit, assumes we are not also the foot-soldiers making-by-living the change of creating a better world.
It would be hard to find a more obvious example of a less self-inflated white guy getting called out for having an overly inaccurate, generous view of himself, then telling everybody else we’re stupid not to see his awesomeness.
Sorry Phil, you are just another white guy who refuses to see his privilege. There’s a reason you’re popular.(via america-wakiewakie)
do centaur babies suckle from the horse nipples or the human nipples tho
this fucking website